Making assumptions or judgements and approaching things based on past experiences, personal belief systems or uninformed ideas leads to a whole array of missed opportunities and awkward interactions - something that is being brought into my awareness VERY strongly at the moment and mainly through using experiences with Emma (my daughter) as examples.
I'm learning a lot about how certain things that people do in my life that trigger me into annoyance or frustration are actually gifts being reflected back to me of areas where I can grow.
I am quite an intellectual AND intuitive person and always have been so I've become accustomed to using these abilities to make many 'assumptions' (which could be confused with educated guesses) to make judgements of others... clearly something I am needing to curb based on the amount of experiences I'm having in which I'm being triggered by others doing this to me.
It does make me confused a little as to when to use my intuition, personal experience and knowing to speak my truth to another or just shine my light and keep my mouth shut... When is it a judgement or assumption and when is it inspired guidance?
In fact, on that note, I became so unsure of when to speak and when not to a few years ago that I started writing my guidance out as articles instead of giving it directly to people so they could choose if they received it or not. This did help a lot but yet the spiral comes around again now in a deeper and different way of how best to converse with others - especially in a world where everyone has an opinion and a social media platform to share it on!
Anyway, back to triggers and how they are actually opportunities to look at myself rather than judging the delivery system/person...
MY MAIN TRIGGERS:
Being told what to do or what is going to be done with me or to me without asking me what I would like to do or if I want to do it first
Given advice that I don't want or haven't asked for based on outdated ideas of me (or personal experiences) that don't resonate with me instead of getting to know me first and actually asking what or why I do certain things BEFORE offering advice
Pushing my boundaries and telling me 'shoulds' and 'have tos' without respecting my boundaries, timeline and way of doing things
Questioning why I do everything and requiring me to justify my existence
Feeling unsafe, unheard, unimportant, unloved, unworthy and not valued
All of these triggers show me what I am still working through within me and the areas in which I judge myself - of which I am grateful to have this awareness so I can release these judgments and forgive myself and begin to only see the light in others again.
By remembering that all of this is MY creation and is always FOR me, it helps me to glean the golden nuggets from the experiences as my awareness becomes more and more focused on peace and love, and less and less on attachments and judgements.
For me I know that there are core/heart things I want for myself that these generalised triggers are revealing for me. They show me how I am treating myself without even knowing it... (until now).
MY CORE DESIRES:
To express my true and authentic self without judgement, justification or interrogation
Respect my way of being and allow me the freedom to be my fullest expression
Space to be me without rules, pressures, obligations and time constraints
Trust that I am safe and know what I am doing and that it is all perfect
Freedom to be me and to do the things I want to do without fear
I know that for the perceived 'external' world to deliver these core desires I firstly need to meet them within myself, to forgive myself and to be open to recieve more of myself.
I know that what others show me are unconscious ways in which I am constricting and limiting myself and I am grateful for these souls to take up their role so well in my life as teachers and guides.
"I am sorry.
Forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you."
- Ho'oponopono
As a divine creator I can now look even more clearly upon my creation and see the perfection in the journey and experiences. Every day, month and year things become clearer and I am able to release more and more... it's exciting and a little scary...
I'm excited about what is to come, knowing I have been dedicated to doing the inner work for so long and that what is to come will be glorious beyond my human imagination, yet I am still a little scared of what might be lurking beneath that I have buried deep and forgotten - but I didn't come this far just to give up when I'm so close!
I'm hoping to go forward with more curiosity and less seriousness so I can enjoy the unfolding of me rather than fear it.
Thank you for reading! Have a great day!
Amanda x
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